Romance scams — what they are and how to avoid them

Romance scams — what they are and how to avert them

Younger woman in red dress holds takes hand of well dressed older man at dinner table.

(Image credit: Motortion Films/Shutterstock)

Even equally the severity of the COVID-19 pandemic has ebbed and flowed over the by 2 years, romance scams have been consistently on the ascension.

In this course of online fraud, scammers lure in victims with false profiles on dating apps (fifty-fifty the best dating apps) or social-media platforms. What starts out as innocent friendship quickly escalates into professions of love and a false sense of intimacy.

From at that place, the crux of a romance scam becomes a request for money. Nether the cover of love, scammers say they urgently need funds for travel expenses, medical bills and diverse debts.

They often ask for coin in the course of gift cards or wire transfers, which are impossible to dispute or recover. Cryptocurrency is also a grade of romance scam payment.

The fundamental to success for romance scams is the fact that yous'll never meet your online love interest face-to-confront. Scammers come up with all kinds of excuses for why they tin can't connect in person: they're working on an offshore oil rig, or they're deployed abroad for military service, or they're quarantining or maintaining social distance due to COVID-19.

Whereas the first couple of reasons given may heighten suspicious eyebrows, the pandemic has given fraudsters more than plausible excuses for keeping their relationships strictly online.

The Federal Trade Commission received reports of $304 million in losses due to romance scams in 2020 — a 50% increase over the previous year — affecting victims of all ages. More than a third of those who lost coin to this type of fraud in 2021 were targeted on Facebook or Instagram.

"During the pandemic, people had more time to scroll social media and more than reasons to experience lonely and crave companionship," said Linda Sherry, managing director of national priorities at Consumer Activeness.

"In addition, online dating is mainstream and there are platforms for all walks of life, and then it stands to reason more people are checking out online dating."

How to spot online romance scams

Spotting and fugitive romance scams starts with a healthy dose of skepticism. There are a few ruddy flags to look out for:

The other person comes on really strong early on, using words like "love" and "soulmate" within hours or days of making contact.
The person asks you to communicate by text or e-mail instead of through the dating or social media platform where you first made contact.
The person tin can never come across contiguous (in person or virtually), and they either brand a lot of excuses for not planning properly or cancel in-person meetings at the last minute.
The person's communication includes a lot of typos or express English language proficiency.
The person asks for money, sensitive photos of you, or financial information.
The person tells you not to tell family unit and friends about your relationship.

If whatever of these things occur, definitely keep your baby-sit up, and try to find more information about the other person. Even if you lot reached out to other person start, they could all the same be a fraud.

Spotting an online romance scam may seem obvious, only factors such equally isolation, loneliness, naivete and wishful thinking can increase a person's vulnerability to falling victim.

"Many people believe in their own power to spot scams, but in many cases this conviction can be easily overwritten by our desire for rewards, which in turn triggers more than neurological responses to seek out even more rewards," said Sherry. "Nosotros are unfortunately equally humans rather 'confidently vulnerable.'"

Ane flim-flam experts recommend for catching scammers is to do a reverse image search for the other person's dating or social-media profile flick. Fraudsters will frequently use someone else's photo (or a stock image) and personal details to build their persona, and a opposite image search can help yous quickly notice whether the picture has been repurposed.

Another way to confirm whether the other person is who they claim to be is to search online for their name and other personal details they may take shared. If you don't find whatsoever other presence online, or if the data doesn't seem to match other profiles with the same name, and then the other person may be carrying out a scam.

The FTC besides suggests searching for scams related to specific jobs that fraudsters often claim to accept that continue them out of the country and unable to meet yous. Effort searching for "oil rig scammer" or "U.S. Army scammer," for example. You may notice stories that sound similar to yours. You can also Google the text of messages you've received to see if the scammer has used them earlier and been exposed.

"In our view, romance scammers are rarely just one person," said Sherry. "They are teams of people who can stay in constant touch, leading hopeful victims to be flattered by the attention."

How to avoid condign a victim of a romance scam

If you come across whatsoever of the above alarm signs, or simply feel that something nigh your new online relationship seems off, cut off contact immediately. While y'all may not be able to avoid encountering scammers on dating or social-media platforms, there are likewise means to prevent the situation from getting out of hand.

First, don't share personal details on dating apps, including your last name, where yous piece of work or information most your family. Put equally few personal details equally yous tin can on social media.

Scammers may try to employ your personal data to emotionally dispense you or steal your identity. Also avoid sending intimate photos that the other person could use to extort or bribery you.

Most importantly, never, e'er send money to an online honey interest that y'all don't know or oasis't met in person, no matter how compelling or heartbreaking their story, or however badly they merits they want to see you lot.

This includes funds in the grade of bank deposits, wire transfers, gift cards and reloadable debit cards. You won't get your money back.

What to do if you're defenseless in a romance scam

Unfortunately, once you've sent money to a scammer, it's probably gone. The FTC still recommends telling your bank or credit card visitor nearly the scam so you can protect your accounts from further damage. If you sent a gift menu, the company that issued the card may be able to refund yous in some cases.

You can — and should — report the scam to the dating or social-media site, the FTC and the FBI, no matter how embarrassing it may seem. The AARP besides has a consumer-reported fraud map and helpline. If you fear that the scammer has too much of your personal information, you may want to look into i of the all-time identity theft protection services.

Reporting a romance scam won't disengage the impairment done, but information technology may save others from falling victim to the aforementioned fraudster. Attempt to collect equally much data as you can, including the scammer's electronic mail address, IP address and full email message header, for the report.

"All victims, old or immature, are frequently too embarrassed to tell their stories, which limits information that could help others avoid scams," Sherry said.

Emily Long is a Utah-based freelance writer who covers consumer technology, privacy and personal finance for Tom's Guide. She has been reporting and writing for near 10 years, and her piece of work has appeared in Wirecutter, Lifehacker, NBC BETTER and CN Traveler, amongst others. When she's not working, you can find her trail running, teaching and practicing yoga, or studying for grad school — all fueled by coffee, evidently.